THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
