It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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