Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
