Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
