when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
