you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Bring me that man meat
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
