Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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