If i come over, it means nothing
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
