Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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