When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
