So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
they need to just BURY HIM!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
