DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
