how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
