Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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