Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
