Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
