Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
