Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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