Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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