I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
