i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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