she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
