look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
