brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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