that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
