if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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