bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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