idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
