The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
don't judge my taste in strippers
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
