i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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