She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
