Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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