He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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