making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
