My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
