dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I smell stomach acid.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize