Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
