Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
