Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize