shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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