those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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