I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
