either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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