I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize