chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize