he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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