Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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