YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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