Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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