I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
