he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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