wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
