I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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