i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
