is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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