I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
