I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize