how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
