I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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