I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
