My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
