Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
