was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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