so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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