You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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