My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
