Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
