Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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