I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
