grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
