I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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