im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
