they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
