I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
