Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize