We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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