You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
