Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
