You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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